July 2009
2 posts
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
March 2009
1 post
Mar 5th
68 notes
February 2009
5 posts
HOW MY MOTHER IMAGINED THE POLICE WHEN I WAS A...
FIRST OFFICER: I just got a call from a local mother. Apparently her child was supposed to be home by six-and he still hasn’t arrived.
SECOND OFFICER: Jesus Christ. It’s almost seven. Are you sure she told him to be home by six?
FIRST OFFICER: Yes, that’s his weekday curfew; six p.m. If he stays out past that hour, he’s supposed to call and tell her where he is.
SECOND OFFICER: And you’re telling me he still hasn’t called ?
FIRST OFFICER: I know…it’s a pretty scary situation.
SECOND OFFICER: We better get the chief.
CHIEF: Let me get this straight…the mother still hasn’t received a call from her son?
FIRST OFFICER: No Chief.
CHIEF: Then we can only assume the worst has happened.
SECOND OFFICER: You mean…a hit and run?
CHIEF: Either that or a kidnapping. They’re both very real possibilities. Get Washington on the horn. This is a job for the FBI.
FBI AGENT: All right everybody, listen up. We’ve got a CODE RED. A fifteen-year-old child has been missing for nearly an hour and he has had no contact whatsoever with his mother. Grab your guns and your helicopters and let’s get moving!
FIRST OFFICER: (shaking his head) What’s the point, sir? It’s been so long…he’s almost certainly dead!
FBI AGENT: (slaps him) We got to keep looking, for the mother’s sake. Even if it’s just to find the body.
SECOND OFFICER: (in tears) Chief, we found him! He was at a friends house playing video games!
CHIEF: Oh, thank God-I thought for sure we’d lost him!
FBI AGENT: (lighting a cigarette) We got lucky this time. Let’s hope to Christ there ain’t a next time.
CHIEF: (mopping the sweat off of his face) I’m getting too old for this.
FBI AGENT: All I can say is: Thank God the boy’s mother called. If we hadn’t located him when we did, he almost certainly would have been killed somehow.
— Simon Rich
Free-Range Chickens
Feb 28th
Brickskeller is great for drinks with an old...
Love the Beer! They have over 1000 beers in a bottle. They are going to have everyone’s favorite beer!
Feb 24th
Feb 20th
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“Fidelity”: Don’t Divorce… from Courage Campaign
Feb 17th
Feb 2nd
January 2009
36 posts
Jan 29th
86 notes
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$155k clone!!
Jan 28th
“As my children pointed out, in Chicago school is never cancelled. In fact, my...”
– President Barack Obama on the first snow in Washington D.C.
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
7 tags
"We have nothing to fear...
… but fear itself” is how the quote goes. And we are all familiar with this quote. But I have a problem with it. The idea for this Blog entry actually came to me while watching an episode of Batman the Animated Series. Please don’t turn away, this will all make sense… The episode was called “Never Fear.” The antagonist in this episode was the Scarecrow. ...
Jan 27th
5 GIRLS, 4 DADS, 1 MISSION - CLEAN & SAFE DRINKING... →
Jan 27th
Know when to walk away
Know When To Walk Away - Jay Clifford
Jan 26th
“To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of...”
– George Jean Nathan
Jan 25th
Jan 24th
ListenRadiohead. 15 Steps. Let me know if you dig this,...
Jan 24th
http://twitpic.com/16dwh - the wife & the dog getting home
Jan 24th
ahhh, glenlivet and davidoff…perfect combination
Jan 24th
yay! headin home! gonna have a cigar and a scotch when i get there.
Jan 23rd
Why my hip-hop posse would be the COOLEST!
Screech Milhouse Carlton Kimmy Gibler Urkel Comic Book Guy Napolean Dynomite
Jan 23rd
I pizzosted a nizzew answer on Pizzlinky: “Why my hip-hop posse would be the COOLEST!” http://www.plinky.com/links/1cJ
Jan 23rd
Jan 23rd
Three overplayed songs I love anyway (PS They're...
You like something because…. You love something although… Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi Whooah, were half way there Livin on a prayer Take my hand and well make it - I swear Livin on a prayer Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi Im a...
Jan 23rd
My favorite place to hear music: My Shower
One, two, three and to the four… I sound so awesome there! If only everyone could hear me when I do sing in My Shower, I would be a judge on American Idol.
Jan 23rd
In defense of my vice: Caffeine is one of the last...
Caffeine, Caffeine, Caffeine. I need it, love it, have to have it. cafe solo by jenny downing (jenny downing) Started out of boredom, now just LOVE it!
Jan 23rd
My first job: sales
ABC Baby! Always Be Closin’!
Jan 23rd
When I get home, I put on pajamas
‘Cause I’m sexy in my PJs!!
Jan 23rd
My Road-Trip Mix CD
The Jimmy Choos by Chester French Awesomely unique song, upbeat, and fun. Today by Smashing Pumpkins Semi Charmed Life by 3rd Eye Blind This is a dinky plinky. I have confidence though, plinky...
Jan 23rd
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High Five Guys
Jan 22nd
Jan 22nd
Now that's a hot pocket! →
Jan 22nd
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Prez doing the Bump!
Jan 21st
They already Changed it!
An update to my blog below, Wiki already caught the mistake and changed it. I guess it wasn’t true, too bad…
Jan 21st
“We have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not...”
– President Barack Obama
Jan 20th
Jon Favreau, Yes He Did!
If you are like me, the person you think of when you hear that name is not the Valedictorian of the College of the Holy Cross for the class of 2003. It’s the dude from Swingers, it’s the big dude from The Replacements, Gutter from PCU (and for the lady’s, he’s the Tennis Player’s Agent in Wimbeldon.) The thing is, he shares the name with the Speech Writer for Obama....
Jan 20th
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One of the most memorable moments in my life. I am so happy I was able to attend.
Jan 19th
OMG! TMI!
I just realized that I use facebook, myspace, twitter, flickr, digg, gchat, netflix, linkedin, youtube, and now tumblr…
Jan 10th
Uploaded alot of pics from '06 & '07 →
Jan 10th
Boxee!! →
Jan 10th
VentureBeat-future of virtual social networking. →
Jan 10th
Watching CES...
I didn’t realize how behind the times I am. I learned about Boxee while watching the recap of CES ‘09, and Boxee introduced me to tumblr….
Jan 10th
Jan 10th