July 2009
2 posts
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March 2009
1 post
February 2009
5 posts
HOW MY MOTHER IMAGINED THE POLICE WHEN I WAS A CHILD
- FIRST OFFICER: I just got a call from a local mother. Apparently her child was supposed to be home by six-and he still hasn’t arrived.
- SECOND OFFICER: Jesus Christ. It’s almost seven. Are you sure she told him to be home by six?
- FIRST OFFICER: Yes, that’s his weekday curfew; six p.m. If he stays out past that hour, he’s supposed to call and tell her where he is.
- SECOND OFFICER: And you’re telling me he still hasn’t called ?
- FIRST OFFICER: I know…it’s a pretty scary situation.
- SECOND OFFICER: We better get the chief.
- CHIEF: Let me get this straight…the mother still hasn’t received a call from her son?
- FIRST OFFICER: No Chief.
- CHIEF: Then we can only assume the worst has happened.
- SECOND OFFICER: You mean…a hit and run?
- CHIEF: Either that or a kidnapping. They’re both very real possibilities. Get Washington on the horn. This is a job for the FBI.
- FBI AGENT: All right everybody, listen up. We’ve got a CODE RED. A fifteen-year-old child has been missing for nearly an hour and he has had no contact whatsoever with his mother. Grab your guns and your helicopters and let’s get moving!
- FIRST OFFICER: (shaking his head) What’s the point, sir? It’s been so long…he’s almost certainly dead!
- FBI AGENT: (slaps him) We got to keep looking, for the mother’s sake. Even if it’s just to find the body.
- SECOND OFFICER: (in tears) Chief, we found him! He was at a friends house playing video games!
- CHIEF: Oh, thank God-I thought for sure we’d lost him!
- FBI AGENT: (lighting a cigarette) We got lucky this time. Let’s hope to Christ there ain’t a next time.
- CHIEF: (mopping the sweat off of his face) I’m getting too old for this.
- FBI AGENT: All I can say is: Thank God the boy’s mother called. If we hadn’t located him when we did, he almost certainly would have been killed somehow.
- — Simon Rich
- Free-Range Chickens
Brickskeller is great for drinks with an old friend
Love the Beer!
They have over 1000 beers in a bottle. They are going to have everyone’s favorite beer!
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January 2009
28 posts
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“As my children pointed out, in Chicago school is never cancelled. In fact, my 7-year-old pointed out that you would go outside for recess. You wouldn’t even stay indoors. So it’s — I don’t know. We’re going to have to try to apply some Chicago toughness. I’m saying, when it comes to the weather, folks in Washington don’t seem to be able to handle things.”
—President Barack Obama on the first snow in Washington D.C.
"We have nothing to fear...
… but fear itself” is how the quote goes. And we are all familiar with this quote. But I have a problem with it.
The idea for this Blog entry actually came to me while watching an episode of Batman the Animated Series. Please don’t turn away, this will all make sense…
The episode was called “Never Fear.” The antagonist in this episode was the Scarecrow. You may be familiar with him from “Batman Begins” the prequel to “The Dark Knight” that everybody saw. The Scarecrow is a villain that would accomplish his dastardly deeds usually by using some kind of gas that would instill fear into his victims. This particular episode of Batman The Animated Series had an unusual twist. The Scarecrow was accomplishing his tasks with a different kind of gas. It was a gas that would remove all fear of those who ingested it. This episode did a great job showing what can happen when an individual has no fear. And as Batman has so eloquently stated, “A little fear is a good thing.” One citizen normally scared of heights was found swinging from building to building spiderman style and almost killed himself until Batman saved him. In another instance, Batman ingested some of the gas himself and almost broke his one rule, he almost killed someone. That someone was a bad guy, but none the less, Batman NEVER kills.
This brings me to my point today. During the 90s and up until recently, this country as a whole, lost all fear.
The Borrowers weren’t scared to lie about their income.
The Lenders weren’t scared to look the other way.
People weren’t worried the house wouldn’t sell for more $$$ in 5 years.
They weren’t worried to buy 2 or more houses (that they couldn’t afford) to try and flip for more money.
The Lenders weren’t scared to give them the loans for the 2nd or 3rd houses.
Now look at this country. People are losing jobs at an alarming rate, and it is not getting any better in the near future. This is something we should have feared. I know not everyone took advantage of the system, but now everyone is paying one way or another, if it’s you, a loved one, or someone close, we are in hard times.
How many of you can tell me what the next words in FDR’s speech are? Not many can, they are:
“—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
That is what FDR was trying to say; we should not fear nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror. But, what we are going through now, has reason, and is justified. Maybe a little fear isn’t a bad thing.
“To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.”
—George Jean Nathan
Listen
Radiohead. 15 Steps. Let me know if you dig this, I love this stuff.
http://twitpic.com/16dwh - the wife & the dog getting home
ahhh, glenlivet and davidoff…perfect combination
